A Beautiful Man

Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t'were his own.
- Johann von Goethe

Marriage is hard. Yet, being with my husband, it doesn't seem like a huge effort to make things work.

I feel rather fortunate that I found a man who is as beautiful on the inside as much as I think he is on the outside. Sure, we have our problems but who doesn't? He has some annoying habits like bringing his stinky work shoes upstairs or not using the kitchen gadgets (i.e., juicer) he hinted at madly before anniversaries/birthdays/Christmas.

But, he's also very considerate. I've never had to worry about the toilet seat being left up. Even when he's had a hard day of physical labor, if he sees that I'm tired, he'll give me a massage. And on Monday morning, he left a note on my lunch bag that said "Got Milk?" to remind me to take a 1/2 gallon of milk to work with me.

If it weren't for him, I would never have had the courage to get a driver's license. Imagine being 29 and not knowing how to drive! Yet, he never made me feel like it was strange and he was quite patient with the driving lessons. When I got the license, he bought me a car. Okay, so he couldn't afford a new one but who wants to carry a note anyway?

Now, we're embarking on buying a home. Yesterday, I scolded him for talking to me about "details" when I was trying to wind down during my treadmilling. Then, I felt completely guilty and cried when he told me that the only reason he was sharing the news with me is because things are moving fast - finally - and that the one thing he's always wanted to give me is a home. It never sat right with him that I moved into "his" rental and that I've never felt it was my home.

In the midst of all this, I feel saddened that ever since our first baby came, his art has suffered. He makes such beautiful, intense pieces and time spent on the family has taken away from his ability to create. He says that it's only temporary and that what he's doing now is creating a good life for us both - a thought that comforts me for a short time.